How to not write
Thursday, 22 January 2009 20:00
Last month I decided to fight my hypergraphia.
I hired a tiny invisible man to stand guard over my computer.
If I tried to write anything, I instructed him to turn off my machine.
It worked well. Too well.
As you can see, I haven't been able to write anything for almost a month. You can imagine how frustrating this has been. Every time I had an idea, a thought I wanted to share, the moment I logged in and started typing - blip. Off went the machine.
I can't get him to stop. Being invisible, he's hard to catch.
Negotiations are fruitless. I told him his services are no longer needed. I tried reason, I begged, I screamed in anger. It's like talking to a wall.
He's not listening, but my wife is. She's more worried than usual.
Today, I tried a new strategy. I baked a cake and set out a piece as bait. When I saw bites disappearing, I trapped him under a bowl.
I'm not sure how long this solution will last. It's enabled me to write this.
I hope you'll understand if you don't hear from me for awhile. A guy can only bake so many cakes.