The Blog

Let's Do The Numbers...

Monday, 27 June 2011 22:18

Stormy weather...hundred and fifty million here hundred and fifty million there...pretty soon you're talkin' 'bout real money.

So, here's the deal. We file as a five-oh-one-cee-three and do an initial offering priced at ten dollars a share. That's one hundred million shares to get to a billion. Say we get to half that, five hundred million gets their attention. We wave that around and see if bigger players (Mark Cuban, the Garvey/Hershiser noisemakers, etc...) want a piece, then we get the management team in place.

I know lawyers.

Seidler's havin' fun in Visalia, but that's just because it's minor league ball and it's pure. We need to make Dodger Stadium fun and pure again - not the frackin' locked down police state Frank Frackin' McCourt's turned it into. If everyone's got a piece of the action, there's motivation to make it cool, make it the good old days, cuz, as Carly Simon says, these are the good old days.

We don't need a billion dollars, that's the good news. The bad news is we need some sum of money, a large sum, and even then the battle's just begun. We have to convince sixteen other ownership groups that a bunch of meddling kids belong in their precious club. Hells bells, we (and by we, I mean fans across the country) can take this model and take over sixteen other clubs. 

Stage a revolution.

Rabble rousers. You're not one of those rabble rousers, are you? Frackin' A Right I'm a frackin' rabble rouser extraordinaire! Let's go on strike, they can keep their fourteen dollar beers and twenty-five dollar parking spots. I'll watch minor league ball. I'll watch the game on the frackin' television, online, streaming audio.

Let the frackin' owners pound sand.

It's a long season. We've got time. The clock's tickin' on Frank Frackin' McCourt. We can figure this out into October, we can figure this out next year. The indelible foot prints of Time march on, like a machine, a motherfrackin' juggernaut, waiting for no one, it's on our side, oh, yes it is. Listen, people, it's in the wind, you hear it? That's right...change. Not chump change, either. Big time change, jingling jangling spurs, spawning and dawning, days of wine and Pete Roses. We will prevail.

Numbers don't lie. 

Making Payroll

Thursday, 16 June 2011 13:23

Well, things are moving, people. Frank Frackin McCourt now can't make payroll!? What's next, volunteers manning the parking lot booths?!

Keep moving, keep thinking, we've got our best people working on this. With a little determination (and a lot of money [don't think I don't know how much frackin money this is gonna frackin take {I know, trust me, I know}]).

It could be upwards of a billion dollars, but with the aforementioned financial troubles destined to continue this news actually works in our favor. Five hundred million might be enough to dangle before Frackin Frank and his fracken estranged wife Frackin Jamie Fracken McCourt and have them leap at the opportunity to take more of LA's money just to skip town like the low-down, no-good, foul-mouthed, weak-kneed, carpet-bagging, beady-eyed (him not her) hobbledehoys they are.

Then all we have to do is convince 16 of those frackin other Frackin Owners to let the people of LA, the Dodger Faithful, Dodgertown denizens, the ones, you know, who pay all the frackin bills by buying frackin expensive beer and getting reamed at those fracking parking lot booths and pay for tickets in those frackin sweet new seats that cost so much to frackin install. It's all fracked up, people; it's totally fracked up (and, yeah, I'm not sure if I should've put a fracken semi-colon there [what the frack is it with semi-colons!?]) and we're the frackin clowns that are going to do something about it.

Who's with me!?!?!

Frank Frackin McCourt

Wednesday, 15 June 2011 09:40

OK, let's focus, people!

This fracking frack ain't gonna happen overnight. We can't set up a paypal account, accept donations, waltz into Frank Frackin McCourt's office with a check for "Get-the-Frack-out-of-LA!" and BAM! this fracking nightmare's over! (Three '!' [though not next to each other] may indicate a certain over-exuberance on my part [duly noted] but this is fracking fun [we wouldn't be fracking doing it if it t'weren't] so, no, I will NOT curb my enthusiasm [although I do promise never ever EVER to put two {or more} exclamation points in sequence. If I do, all bets are off! {ooohhh, how my finger hovered above that !-key!}]). 

I also hereby offficially renounce emoticoms.

Somehow or another we're gonna buy the Dodgers from Frank Frackin McCourt, and we're gonna have to do it without strings of hyperbolic punctuation, smiley faces, frackin winky bullfrack and a totally hackable online payment system. I don't know exactly what we need, but it ain't frackin that.

OK, now that that's out of the way...

If we keep taking baby steps, when we run into an obstacle we won't fall down. We ask how to overcome the obstacle. If we don't know who to ask we ask until we find someone who does. We know people, people! We can do this! Just frackin focus and Frank Frackin McCourt will be gone in time for Vinny's last game. We've got more than half the season left. We can do this.

Focus!

Let's Do It For Vinny!

Tuesday, 14 June 2011 12:42

We're gonna buy the Dodgers.

The way this organization has been run into the ground is criminal and it's about time someone stepped in to make it right. This is Vin Scully's last year. He shouldn't have to put up with this fracking nonsense. This is not a glorious farewell. This is a shame, a scandal, nay, an outrage! And, we have the power to put a stop to it and bring about the sort of organization Dodger fans around the world deserve. The sort of organization that will treat the most beloved man in baseball with the dignity and honor he so deeply merits.

Stick with me on this, people. 

We set up a non-profit corporation, sell shares to fans, former players (I'm talking to you Garvey, Hershiser - back off, you'll get a piece of the action, but you're just getting in the way now. We've got a wave coming, we're throwing beach balls, we may be a little late, but we're Dodger fans galdarn it and we're gonna do this fracking thing or we're going to leave early to beat the traffic. And, Manny, listen up, pal, we loved you, you were a blast, but if you really want to pay a little back for your own personal shame, you're gonna pony up some dough, too. Don't think you won't. You will. Yes, oh, yes, you will) and anyone else who wants a piece of the Dodgers.

They did it in Boston. They did it in Green Bay. Why can't we do it in LA?

Now, there's a lot I don't know. This comes as no surprise to you, my friends. However, you are my friends, or I want you to be my friend. So, friend me on facebook and help me out here. We're gonna buy the fracking Dodgers.

Let's do it for Vinny!