Stay-at-Home Dad Survival Guide

World leaders should be required to do Daddy Day-Care for a year

Monday, 08 December 2008 17:32

I just heard a piece on NPR about the Gaza-Egypt tunnels used to supply stuff to blockaded Palestinians.

It reveals my chronicle of S-A-H-D-ing as the petty tripe it is.

However, it also made me think if people with power had to spend six months to a year as the primary caregiver to a child they'd think twice about bombing and blockading. I'm no political scientist, Kissenger-ian Real-politik might be the right move in this case. 

The blockade may turn out to be just as brilliant as Shocking and Awe-ing Bagdad (ahem).

My threshold for "difficult" may be lower than others, yet I feel parenting is hard. It's hard even though I have a spouse and someone who comes in to help. It's hard even though we have a house and an income (modest as it is).

I can't imagine having to go to a black market to buy food, shoes, and fuel to keep my kids fed, shod, and warm.  One thing's certain, I'll never again complain about standing in a slow line at Safeway.

People say raising a child is the most important job on earth. They say similar about the presidency.

My wish for 2009 (besides a full-time job) is for presidents, ministers, and kings to think more about raising healthy, intelligent, compassionate kids.

If they spent half a year wiping butts and noses and devoted themselves to the care and feeding of fragile young lives, perhaps they'd try harder to make the first job easier.

You should avoid reading my old crap in a related vein (first published on Pravda.ru during the Bush v. Kerry campaign).

A Spoonful of Sugar...

Monday, 08 December 2008 17:28

I speak metaphorically...in the Mary Poppins sense.

What I'm really talking about is cash.

Well, credit.

The getting ready in the AM, teeth brushed, breakfast eaten, clothes on, and out the door in time to make the bus every day was proving darn near impossible. Lots of screaming, and threats of physical violence and "consequences" such as the rescinding of "privileges".

All to no avail.

There were still occasions when we had to drive to school, throwing the finely-tuned morning schedule into turmoil.

Remembering my mother's axiom that you catch more flies with sugar than vinegar, and knowing well my 7-year-old's greed and competitive spirit (he's the only kid who could turn the watching of Tom and Jerry into a competition sport); I made the process into a game.

December 19th begins the Holiday Break, there were 15 school days left until then. I told him if he could make the bus 8 times he'd get $5, 10 times $10, 12 times $15 dollars, and all 15 times $20.

He's 5 for 5.

We keep track on a scorecard.

My wife thinks I'm bribing him.

She sleeps in.

NPR Marketplace Money update

Monday, 08 December 2008 17:26

Well, the NPR Marketplace Money piece aired, I had a brief moment at the end of the story. The whole thing is here:

http://marketplace.publicradio.org/display/web/2008/12/05/underemployed/

This is the entirety of my bit:

Then there are those left out of the official underemployment figures because they're working for themselves. Like Jeff Wenker. He was laid off from his PR job in Seattle two months ago and is now self-employed, getting small jobs here and there. And that's on top of his other responsibilities.

Jeff Wenker: If you're underemployed and you're looking for full-time employment, you are always working. You're working to find a job, you're working to take care of the kids...

Wenker says as time goes on he's willing to take any full-time job just to get the benefits. But until he lands that opportunity, he's trying to look on the bright side of underemployment and indulge his creative dreams. He says he's sleeping just four and half hours a night so he can write a series of blogs and a screenplay.

I'm Rachel Dornhelm for Marketplace Money.


Yeah, I'd return punts naked for the Seahawks if they'd give me benefits.

The Ranks of Stay-at-Home Dads Grows

Monday, 08 December 2008 17:24

This isn't a good sign:
Unemployment rises to 6.3 percent, inching toward dot-com bust era
John Cook:
http://tinyurl.com/5dkgfz

It does mean that there will be many more Stay-at-Home Dads, which means more people should be coming to this site for tips, links to resources, and other helpful posts.

I am like the posterboy for the under-employed, having spent nearly half of my adult career not in a traditional job. I also have many years of experience caring for kids, and living on the cheap. (I've been published in Cheapskates Monthly [and I never paid for a subscription]).

When I was freelancing in San Francisco I finagled an apartment in the Marina District (well, East Cow Hollow) for $400, and I had a parking spot. The place was a dive, we called it the Chateau du Fromage, but I had roommates (who worked [Nic "Buys-the-Beer" Howell being the most generous]) and was fresh out of college where any domicile free from gnats circling puddles of beer was a step up.

In short, I know from whence I speak and hope y'all will come back again and again with comments, suggestions and other helpful tips for those of us in the under-employed boat.

Not to mix metaphors, but a quote from Dory in "Finding Nemo" frequently runs through my head: "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming...'

Try it.

It's my favorite mantra.