Stay-at-Home Dad Survival Guide Weekends aren't weekends
Weekends aren't weekends
Monday, 08 December 2008 14:18
Not as we once knew them.
When I was in college (Sentences that begin “When I was in college,” weary me. I feel like the guy who starts every story, “OK, there was this time, and we were totally wasted…” [oh, wait, am I that guy?]), weekends started on Thursday.
You got a good jump on things, went down the hill, loosened the liver, stumbled to Friday classes, then did what college-age kids do on Friday and Saturday nights, which, since this is a family show, I’ll leave to your collective imaginations.
Sunday, you’d wake up, watch football, around 2:00 PM order a pizza, maybe pump for dregs to catch a shampoo buzz, then watch a movie, possibly study a bit and then sleep. Not once did you wipe a three-year old’s ass.
Let’s say it once and be done with it, “Those were the days…”
Once again, guys, with feeling, “Those WERE the days…”
Gone.
You may do a guys’ weekend or some bachelor party debauch…pale imitations, desperate efforts to dabble in an irresponsibility far, far gone.
Give up those childish ways. Forget them. Look to the future. Maybe one day, you’ll be decrepit; you and your offspring will be unable to afford in-home care, so your son will be forced to take care of you, and will have to wipe your ass.
Such thoughts inspire me to muddle on.
My weekends are gone.
During the week, the kids are in school, at least part of the time. You have a break. On weekends…no. There may be soccer or t-ball, but that’s no real break. Weekends are rife with spousal disagreements over who has had more free time, down to the minute.
"You were in the yard from 10:35 until 11:50."
"Yeah, but you just shoved them in front of the TV. I haven’t logged on since 6:30!"
All this is futile.
Your weekends are gone.
Accept it.
Move on.