The Magic Circus

The Magic Circus - Scene 22

Monday, 08 December 2008 23:21

Monk looking down at page. He sees Joe the Monkey (JTM) alone in his trailer office, smoking, pacing.

JTM – (snuffing out cigarette) Baahh!

JTM throws ledgerbook into his briefcase, slams it shut, storms outside, and walks down steps into fading daylight and a much quieted circus grounds. In the distance he sees Nellie the Elephant. He ignores the hubbub around him and heads for Nellie. When he gets to the shark tank, though, he stops and watches Wally the Wombat (WTW) in top hat standing on the top step of a 12-step ladder coaxing Bruce the shark up the steps.

JTM shakes head, shouts at WTW.

JTM – Wally!?!

WTW – Oh, hello, Joseph. How are we today?

JTM – We’re fine, Wally. (sighs) What are you doing?

Wally – New Act. It’s Bruce’s 12-Step Program. He’s evolving, you know. Made it to Step 8 yesterday. By Saturday he’ll be over Step 12 and able to get a real job like everyone else.

JTM – Wally…

WTW – Yes, Joseph.

JTM - …it doesn’t work like that, evolution takes time and there’s no guarantee…

WTW – (interrupting) JOSEPH! You, of all people, should know better. Just because something’s never happened before doesn’t mean it CAN’T happen. It means it hasn’t happened YET, but WILL.

JTM – MIGHT! Wally, the thing is…oh, nevermind. Take care. (Shouting at Bruce in tank) TAKE CARE, BRUCE!
Bruce smiles and winks. JTM walks away Wally calls after him waving his top hat.

WTW - Wait 'til Saturday, Joseph! You'll see! You'll believe!

JTM - (walking, muttering) This is going to take a miracle.

JTM's phone rings. He looks at the number and answers.

JTM - Howdy, Cap'n. What can I do ya' for?

Captain Koala (CK) - A lot.

JTM - What's that supposed to mean?

CK - Nothing. Hey, I'm not sure I'm going to be able to make the gig on Saturday.

JTM - What?!

CK - (speaks slowly) I'm-not-sure-I'm-going-to-be-able...

JTM - I heard you. I meant 'why'?

CK - Well then why didn't you say 'why'?

JTM pulls out a pack of smokes, bites a cigarette out of pack, shifts briefcase to his tail, squeezes phone between shoulder and bent head, pulls out matches and lights cigarette, still walking.

CK - That's the thing about you, Joe, you make things way too complicated. Just say what you mean.

JTM - It's not that simple.

CK - It could be simple.

JTM - (exhales) Whatever. What's so important you're gonna miss the most important show of our career?

CK - OUR career? Now, you're getting it. Listen, I've got an audition 'cross town. Who knows how long it'll take. You know how those things go.

JTM is now approaching Nellie, who watches JTM talk.

JTM - No. No, Cap'n, I don't know.

CK - Well, anyway, I thought I'd let you know. See ya' later.

CK hangs up.

JTM - Fantastic.

JTM drops suitcase. Looks at Nellie in exasperation. An orangutan walks by trying to juggle, drops ball, kicks it. JTM slaps forehead.
Nellie walks over and puts his trunk around Joe's shoulder.

Nellie - I told you not to hire a juggler without a prehensile tail. We auditioned a very talented baboon.

JTM - Just what I need, another BABOON around.

JTM collapses into hay pile.

JTM - Speaking of auditions. The Captain has picked Saturday to launch his solo career.

Nellie - (sits on large round stepstool) Who needs him. If he's not loopy on eucalyptus, he's hitting on your newest female hire.

JTM - (lets out primal screem) AAaaahhh!! What next?!

Nellie stands on large stool, surveys the circus grounds. From his vantage he can see Wally coaxing Bruce up the stairs, the rat girls exiting the big tent, rollerskates slung over their shoulders, CTC bringing up the rear. He hears an eagle shriek and looks up into the gloaming sky. Then he sniffs the air, rotating trunk.

Nellie - (not looking at JTM) Hey, do you smell something burning? (He turns to see hay pile on fire, lit by MTM's butt) JOE! Wake UP, JOE!

JTM gets up, pats flames off his suit, rolls on the ground, gets up, frantically looks for something to put out flames, pulls blanket from Nellie's stall and tries to smother the fire. Nellie, meanwhile, has thundered to Bruce's tank, sucked up water, and is thundering back. Like a gushing firehose, Nellie spews out the water extinguishing the fire and drenching JTM. Belated alarm bells go off, everyone comes running. The entire circus stands staring at JTM singed and soaking wet.

The Cat slinks amidst the crowd.

End Scene

The Magic Circus - Scene 21

Monday, 08 December 2008 23:17

BMW pulls to the gate at Nickelodeon’s Burbank studio.

Man in Booth (Juan) – Buenos Tardes, Clarice. Din’t ‘spect to see jou today.

Clarice – Hola Juan. Si, es un dia con carne, oy! Are the Marks here?

Juan – Si. ‘Ere ‘bout ‘alf hour ago.

Clarice – Muchos Gracias, Juan. Hasta luego, vaya con dios!

Clarice speaks loudly as she pulls away and Juan replies.

Juan – Y todos los santos!

They pull into a parking space, get out and enter building, waiting for elevator, Monk looks each to each.

Monk – Now? Dare I ask now? (pleading) Can someone please tell me now?

Bilge – You’re a sharp one, mate; you tell me.

Monk – Job interview?

Clarice – Honey, you’re already hired.

Elevator dings, door opens, they all enter. Next moment, upstairs, elevator door opens, they all exit.

Monk – So let me get this straight, (to Clarice) you produce cartoons. Bilge told you my story. You called two of your guys, and now we’re going to make it.

Clarice – More or less.

Monk shakes his head. Nel puts his arm around Monk’s shoulder.

Nel – Sometimes, it’s best not to question things. Just roll with it and everything will work out fine.

Monk – I don’t know…

Nel – You will, Joe, you will.

They enter a workspace where two guys are throwing a nerf football back and forth.

Clarice – Either of you assholes break anything and it’s comin’ out of your paychecks.

Mark 1 – You hear that, Mark, she drags us down here on our day off and she calls US assholes.

Mark 2 – Makes me wanna bust somethin’ just to be spiteful.

Mark 1 – Better not, she’ll garnish our wages…

Mark 2 – Long as she doesn’t use parsley…

Mark 1 – Is there any other…

Clarice – OK, OK, Jesus effin’ Christ, you two…Let’s get to work, eh?

They all look at Monk. He raises his empty hands.

Monk – I, I…

Bilge – (pulling drawings out of the new valise) I’ll take it from here. You go draw something else.

Bilge hands Monk new materials. Clarice pushes him toward a drawing board.

End Scene

The Magic Circus - Scene 20

Monday, 08 December 2008 23:13

Clarice enters the front door of Bud’s house.

Clarice – HONEY! I’M HOME!

Monk – (still in kitchen) Shit.

Monk gets up to leave, gathers papers, heads to back door, but Bilge is there blocking him. Monk heads towards living room, but hears Clarice.

Clarice – Come out, come out wherever you are!

Monk turns to escape, but Bilge has grabbed a towel, made it into a rattail and snaps him with it.

Monk – OW! YOU FUCKER!

Clarice – IS that YOU, dear?!

Monk gives up. Bilge laughs. Clarice enters kitchen.

Clarice – Sweetheart! (rushes to Monk). Tough day at the office (grabs his cheeks, kisses Monk on forehead). I’ve missed you.

Monk – Yeah. I missed you, too.

Nel and Kent walk into kitchen and see Monk, Clarice and Bilge.

Nel – Well, ain’t this interestin’…(to Kent) How ‘bout some music, Maestro…

Kent – Live n’direck?

Nel – (thinks) DJ’s choice.

Kent – (considers) I’m shattered.

Nel – Give the axe a rest then.

Kent leaves room. Nel, Clarice, Bilge and Monk stand and look at each other. After a length of time, music starts on stereo, “Jeremiah was a bullfrog…” then stops abruptly.

Kent – (from other room) JUST KIDDING!

Green Day blares.

Bilge – That’s more like it.

Nel comes over and puts his arm around Monk’s shoulder.

Nel – Got a present for ya’, Monk-man.

Monk – Yeah.

Nel – Yeah. It’s out in the van, come on.

Nel and Monk leave. Clarice and Bilge stay, standing on opposite sides of the kitchen. The music plays. They say nothing.
Switch to front of Bud’s house, Nel has handed Monk the Vroman’s bag. He pulls out each item one by one, looks at Nel, starts to cry.

Nel – Don’t get all sappy on me, Joe.

Joseph hugs Nelson.

Nel – Hey, hey now, this shirt’s silk.

Monk – You’re a sonnuvabitch.

Nel – Yeah, well, it gets better.

Monk – (dries eyes) Whaddaya mean?

Nel – We’re gonna go for a ride.

Monk – Yeah?

Nel – Yeah. You got Bud’s keys.

Monk – Yeah.

Nel – Then we’re gonna ride in style. Wait here.

Nel goes into the house. Monk looks at sky, a bird high and barely visible.  Monk leans against Bud’s BMW. Nel, Bilge and Clarice come outside.

Clarice – Whose Benz is this?

Bilge – It’s a BMW.

Clarice – Whose BMW is this?

Bilge – It’s Bud’s.

Clarice – Where’s Bud?

Bilge – Bud’s asleep, baby, Bud’s asleep.

Monk tosses keys to Clarice.

Monk – Here. You drive. I have no idea where we’re going, and these clowns are lost without Gloria.

Bilge rides shotgun, Nel sits behind Bilge. Clarice and Monk walk around opposite ends of the car into the street. They meet before they open their doors. Clarice puts a hand on Monk’s shoulder.

Clarice – Don’t look so glum, chum. This is going to be fun.

They get in. Clarice starts the engine and pulls away from the curb. Monk speaks to all in car.

Monk – I suppose someone will tell me our destination eventually.

Clarice looks at Monk in rearview mirror, smiles.

End Scene

The Magic Circus - Scene 19

Monday, 08 December 2008 23:08

Monk is back at Bud’s kitchen table, he looks down at a picture of a bunch or rats in roller derby gear circling a track. It starts to move. Clarice the Cat (CTC) is outside the oval shouting into a megaphone.

CTC – That’s it Gloria, MOVE THAT TAIL!

Gloria wraps tail around a team-mate and whips her forward, sliding past members of the other team.

CTC – Susie! Susie! Push it, girl, we’ve only got ‘til Saturday. Ya’ gotta get it in gear, girlfriend!

A fat rat struggles to keep up with the pack, mutters to herself.

Susie – (huffing) “Girlfriend” my ass…I ain’t that cat’s girlfriend.

BTR – (inside oval, shouting) Too much time sittin’ on that ass watchin’ TV, eh, Susie!

BTR keeps shouting, scene shifts over to CTC who is approached by a rakish cat wearing a tam-o’shanter.

The Cat – (gives CTC the once over, twice) I like what you got working here, sister, these stripes are groovy…(He reaches out to touch CTC)

CTC - (pulling away) I ain’t your sister, mister. (Glares) You better watch yourself, I’m part tiger.

The Cat – You don’t say…that’s quite a coincidence. I happen to be ALL tiger myself. (Rubs against CTC)

CTC – (pushing him towards the door) You…need…to get…out of HERE! This is a CLOSED PRACTICE!

The Cat - Is that any way to treat a gentleman caller?

CTC – YOU’RE NO GENTLEMAN!

The Cat – Yeah, well, I ain’t no doorknob neither.  Watch wear you put those digits, baby, you got some blades under that blonde.

CTC pushes him to the entrance where two moles are standing watch, she flashes her claws at The Cat as he stumbles outside the tent.

CTC – (to moles)  Didn’t I tell you two to keep EVERYONE OUT!  Are you guys blind!

The moles look around trying to follow CTC’s voice, but speak in the wrong direction.

Mole 1 – Sorry Clarice.

Mole 2 – Yeah, it won’t happen again, Clarice.  Promise.

CTC goes back in big tent.

Mole 2 – Keep an eye out, knucklehead! We’re finally moving up in the world, let’s not blow it.

In the distance The Cat, walking away, is grasped in the talons of a swooping eagle and spirited away.  Back inside tent BTR approaches CTC.

BTR – What was that all about?

CTC – Some stray cat, been lurking around…

BTR – Huh. We’d better beef up security.

BTR whistles loudly through his claws.

BTR – Hey, Ferdinand! Get over here and make yourself useful!

Across big tent, a bull arranging flowers for a dog clown looks up and ambles over.

CTC – (to BTR looking at rats roll around track) Think we can pull this off?

BTR – We’d better, Clarice, we’d better. If we don’t then all us will be lookin’ for new gigs, and there ain’t a lotta jobs out there for a guy like me.

End Scene