The Magic Circus

The Magic Circus - Scene 26

Monday, 08 December 2008 23:50

Kent and Bud are in a liquor store. They stand before the glass doors guarding refrigerated beer.

Kent - You Americans have too many choices.

Bud - You're telling me. No VB, though.

Kent - (looking) No. No VB.

Bell rings, someone has entered the store.

Bud - Oh, fuck it (he grabs two 12-packs). Let's get out of here.

They go to counter. A Large Black Man (LBM) stands before the Korean proprietor.

LBM - Pack of Camels.

The proprietor turns around to get the cigarettes. LBM turns to look at Bud and Kent.

LBM - Hey.

Kent - (nods) Hey.

LBM pays and leaves. Kent and Bud pay and leave.

End scene

The Magic Circus - Scene 25

Monday, 08 December 2008 23:46

Nick studio, Clarice is spreading Chinese food onto a big conference room table. Bilge, Nel, Monk and the Marks hover.

Clarice - Zgeneral Zschows Schicken, Shlimp Flie Lie, Tofu Mapo Dofu (nods to Nel, speaks quickly), and sundry other taste treats. Enjoy.

The boys dig in.

Mark1 - (picking at shrimp) Sweetness (to Clarice), you are like linguistic tofu. You can pick up all the flavors...

Mark2 - Though not the substance...

Mark1 shrugs, piles food onto paper plate. Clarice stops, points at Monk.

Clarice - Well, you can thank Monkeyboy for that, him and this crazy state of his, with its Mexicans, Armenians, Ukrainians, Ko-reeans, Poles und der Germans. This place has got the Irish, I-talian, Salvadoran, Guatamalan, da Poot-a Reecans, the Swiss even the Dutch. There isn't a race or creed that you couldn't find within a 200 mile radius of where we stand right now. Me, I'm a Westie Bush Pig, dumb lucky as a schoolgirl to sign up as an exchange student on a lark, and run into these bozos.

Nel - (interrupts) One stupid decision can ruin your whole life.

Clarice - Amen, brother. Amen.

It gets quiet. Clarice looks around the table. Monk, picking at food with chopsticks, addresses everyone.

Monk - So, what are we going to do?

Quiet. Then Nel stands, addresses Clarice.

Nel - If it pleases the court (waves arm at Clarice)

Clarice makes rolling circular motion with fingers allowing, urging him to continue.

Nel - I think I can handle this...

Bilge - You?

Nel - Yeah, me.

Bilge - OK, what's the ansa', barrista'?

Nel - Well, the problem as I see it, seems to be that the work in question has borrowed from certain prior works.

The Marks nod. Clarice raises an eyebrow. Bilge is impatient. Monk hangs on Nel's next word.

Nel - So we write it so it steals from everything, and I mean everything. We make the entire cartoon into a series of references to other art. They can't all sue us and if they did it would be great PR. Ultimately, it will appear as an homage, we'll be honoring the classics and the studios will BEG us to put their work in this beauty.

Clarice drops her chopsticks.

Clarice - Nel. You. Are. A Genius.

Nel - I try.

Clarice runs around the table and hugs Nel, awkwardly, as he sits in his chair. He squirms. She plants a kiss on his neck. Bilge looks on.

Clarice - (to the Marks) OK, boys, you know what to do.

Mark1 - ahh...No.

Clarice - What?!

Mark2 - We're going home.

Clarice - Why?

Mark1 - Shoog, you're talkin' words. We don't do words. I'm gonna finish my shrimp fried rice and go catch some zees.

Nel - Fair 'nough. Monk?

Monk - Let's get to work.

End Scene

The Magic Circus - Scene 24

Monday, 08 December 2008 23:43

In van. Bud's driving, Kent shotgun.

Bud - What the heck are they doing at Nickelodeon?

Kent - You're asking me?

They drive down the 134 past Eagle Rock. Radio plays "Magic Man" by Heart. Kent's phone rings to tune of "Hell's Bells" by AC-DC.

Kent - What the...who could this be? (looks at screen, it reads: number unavailable)

Kent - G'day, Cap's Kent here. (pause) You're joking. (pause) Saturday!? (pause) I know I'm in LA, but California's a big state. I gotta be at a church in Frisco on Saturday.

Bud cringes, turns quickly to look at Kent.

Kent - OK, send me the details.

Kent hangs up. Bud and Kent drive in silence.

Gloria - Golden state Freeway North, one quarter mile.

They make the interchange, the radio plays Elvis Costello, "What's so funny about peace, love and understanding."

Bud - Is it big?

Kent - It's pretty fuckin' big.

Gloria - Exit Olive Avenue, one tenth of a mile.

Kent - I don't want to play guitar for "The Fartrilaquists" me 'ole life.

Gloria - Turn right, East Angeleno Avenue, 200 feet.

Kent gets a text message, phone beeps.

Gloria - Turn left, South First Street, 500 feet.

Bud - Yeah, but...

Gloria - Turn left East Olive Avenue, continue one half mile.

Kent checks message, it reads: "Bring beer."

Kent - We need a slab.

Bud - Now? We're there, look!

Kent - 'At's alright, we can leave a trail of breadcrumbs.

End scene

The Magic Circus - Scene 23

Monday, 08 December 2008 23:39

Monk looks up from page. The Marks and Bilge are huddled over a large computer screen. Clarice reclines in a bean bag chair across the room talking on her mobile.

Clarice - Honey, do what grandma says, OK. (Pause) Just eat it, please eat it for me. (Pause) Tell grandma to serve it with apple sauce, yeah, there's some in the back of the fridge. Does that sound good? (Pause) OK. (Pause) Yeah, I love you, too, Hon. Be good. OK, bye-bye.

Monk walks over. She tosses him a box of Milk Duds, which Monk bobbles, but catches.

Clarice - How did it go?

Monk - Good. How're they doin'?

Clarice - (screams) Marks! How ya' doin'?

Mark1 - This is gonna be bloody beautiful, but we have a big problem.

Monk - Uh-oh.

Clarice - Every problem has a solution. (Stands up) Now let me take a look.

She walks over. The Marks twirl around in their chairs. Bilge sits on a desk.

Clarice - (looking at screen behind them) What is it?

Mark2 - It's not there.

Clarice - The problem's not there?

Mark2 - The problem is the script

Clarice - What're ya' talkin' about? THERE IS NO SCRIPT! We only have images. All you gotta do is make 'em move.

Mark2 - The images are great, sort of. The problem is they're all derivitive. What's worse, there are a bunch of characters from other studios, Pixar, Universal, Fox. We'll get our asses sued off it we try to make this.

Clarice - Oh, baloney. Everything's derivitive.

Mark2 - Take a look. (He spins around and starts opening files. A monkey like Curious George. Rat like Templeton. Elephant like Dumbo. Fritz the Cat.

Mark1 - It's like Separated at Birth. (Flips from original to what Monk drew).

Clarice - Hmm...No problemo. We can fix that.

Marks look at her suspiciously. Bilge hops off desk, walks to Monk's drawing board.

Bilge - Let's see what ya' got 'ere now.

Bilge picks up the pages Monk just finished, flips through, stops.

Bilge - Uh-oh.

Monk - What?

Bilge - This.

Bilge holds out the picture resembling Bruce the Shark from "Finding Nemo." Clarice takes it.

Clarice - (to Monk) Is this shot important to the story?

Monk - Um, it IS the story.  THAT shot explains everything.

Clarice - Shit. (pause) Not ALL caps SHIT, though. (paces, thinks) Hmm...OK, we're going to need Chinese.

Mark1 - IN or OUT.

Clarice - Better make it in. This could take some time. I'll order, you jigger with that shit (to Monk) No offense.

Monk shrugs. His phone rings, he looks at number, frowns.

Monk - Hello.

Kent - Hey, where the hell are ya'?

Monk - Burbank.

Kent - Where's Burbank

Monk - Just past Glendale.

Kent - Where's Glendale?

Monk - What's the Budster doing?

Kent - The Budster's sleeping.

Monk - Well, I guess you're gonna have to wake 'em up then, ain't ya'?

Clarice pulls a Chinese menu off the wall. Nel, who has been quietly reading a book on the history of cartooning, feet kicked up on another desk, reclined on Herman Miller chair, looks over at Clarice.

Nel - Get something with tofu. I'm a vegetarian.

Bilge - (snaps his head at Nel) Since WHEN?!

Monk - (to Clarice) And ask them if they can pick up a pack of Marlboro Lights.

End scene